Let's start the stereotypical way. Once upon a time there was a boy...

M is in every single one of my goddamn classes. If it's computer related, he's there. I've been trying my best to ignore him, even when he decides to awkwardly position himself in a seat behind me at an angle, making it impossible for me to send out panic texts to my friends.

This kid has given me one of the craziest experiences, and it's not in a good way; emotional instability, denial, flat out narcissism, and just overall pure douchebaggery. He texts me (drunk as always) sending me hate messages almost every Thursday/Friday/Saturday night. He even texted me when I was out at Grand Central saying "I'm sorry you're still thinking about me."

I promptly responded, "I'm not thinking about you, I have someone worth thinking about." He apologized and didn't bug me for the rest of the night. Honestly at that moment I was thinking about whether or not I should get wasted to make the lights in the place a blur so I could ignore all the strange occurrences.

His last text message consisted of him wanting to talk to me, that he missed talking to me and wanted to "sort things out." What's to sort out? He's a cunt bent on screwing every girl he meets and then blaming them for his own shortcomings in life, and I just don't need that in my life.

Meanwhile another person returned to my life, S. We've had some fun times together, but I honestly don't know what to think. Our relationship, while we've had our deeper moments, seems to be completely based on sex, and I don't want that. In my attempts at fixing it, it's only led to uncomfortable silences and an argument last night. After which I didn't really say anything. If I'm hurt, I won't say anything, it's just who I am. But if I'm hurt and angry that's when I'm more vocal.

He says it's not all he wants, but it's all that we seem to be capable of doing. And it's strange how we've both decided to take things slowly, that he's decided it's too early for a boyfriend/girlfriend type of relationship but it's not too early for sex apparently. I admit I have a high libido, but I also have a big heart and I can't stand feeling like it's dead in a relationship, no matter what kind it is.

And I despise it when people seem to panic because they "don't know what to do" even though they've been told what to do over, and over again. The real meaning behind that statement: what's the easy way out? There isn't one with me, sorry. If you can't handle that then don't waste my time.

In other news I've joined the Crew team (row boating) for the sole purpose of getting back in shape with my friends. It gives me a chance to become more athletic again and it helps to keep my mind off of drama and other such issues. It just seems like a conflict of interest though, honestly. Every one in Crew is very clique-ish, and that's not how I am at all. Everyone ends up alienating themselves by picking favorites, talking shit, and basically acting like pretentious cunts all the time. I pretty much assume everyone (minus my close friend who is on the team with me) is talking shit about everyone else, including us.

It doesn't mean I'm going to quit Crew, it just means that I figure someone is going to get told off by me by the time the semester ends which is not what I want to do right now.

I've got new ink, a crown on my hip. I adore it and it fits my personality a bit too well. One of my friends went with me and she got the Epilepsy Awareness ribbon on her leg and it looks fantastic. I would go back to this parlor, Artworks, for little things like this. Not sure about big things that are elaborate, I still put my trust in a couple of other parlors for that but definitely worth the trip.